How are you this Sunday?

My family attends church every possible Sunday of the year. For the past couple of months, however, I have dreaded going. It’s not that I’m doubting my faith. The church hasn’t hurt me. I don’t dislike the music. I love our pastors. The reason it’s been so tough is that I will be asked at least 5-10 times one of the following questions:

— “How are you this morning?”
— “How has your week been?”
— “How are the girls doing?”

I appreciate the fact that each person is checking in or being cordial. Here is my problem. I lie almost every time when I answer. I shrug it off and say “We are good”, or “We are surviving”, or “Hanging in there”. All of these gloss over A TON of our situation. Now, most of the people we are talking to know at least a little about our girls and their special needs, so I truly am thankful for the care they show when they ask. I just don’t want to be a drag on anyone and share my true thoughts or what really went on this past week.

In a perfect world, we would all be able to share openly and we wouldn’t judge each other. Especially in the church! We would all recognize that we all need daily grace to just make it to the next moment, much less the end of the day or week. Unfortunately, we hold so much in and don’t let the truth get out for fear of man. We are so consumed by what others might think of us that we just keep quiet. Or maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think so. Think about any small group you’ve ever been a part of. It takes time to build relationships and trust, but once even a little bit of trust exists, the first person shares their struggles and then the floodgates are free to open. I long for the day when we can all just be open and honest.

So moving forward, I’m going to steal a strategy I found in a blog post written by Caleb Batchelor. Here is the response he gives when his kids are a mess on a Sunday morning and is asked, “How are you today?”

“I’m actually pretty stressed this morning. Would you pray for me? And thanks for asking. How are you?”

This is so fantastic. You are honest without being a burden. You open up the space for the other person to share their struggles. Then, you can approach the Lord together in prayer. I love this!

What would church look like on a Sunday morning if we all started answering honestly? How would the body of Christ be changed if we let each other in on our secret burdens and helped each other shoulder the weight? What would we be teaching to our children when they overhear the conversations and see prayer happening regularly?

How are you today?