Finding the Good

I've been struggling a lot lately with focusing only on the negative aspects of life. My days have consisted of seeing all the hard things in my life and letting that overwhelm me. This constant drone of negative thoughts has affected everything. My mood is terrible. My sleep has been bad. My relationships have been struggling. It's been a terrible way to live, and I am not proud of who I am or who I'm becoming.

I began reading the book Hardwiring Happiness, by Rick Hanson, and I stumbled across this quote:

When you tilt toward the good, you’re not denying or resisting the bad. You’re simply acknowledging, enjoying, and using the good. You’re aware of the whole truth, all the tiles of the mosaic of life, not only the negative ones. You recognize the good in yourself, in others, in the world, and in the future we can make together.

This hit me right between the eyes. For so long, I’ve thought that if I even acknowledged any good in my life, then I was lying to myself because there was still bad. In my twisted perfectionist brain, I couldn’t say things were “good” until everything was perfect. You might be shaking your head, rolling your eyes, or shouting at your screen. I know it sounds crazy, but this is how I felt and was living. Perfectionism is a terrible master.

For the past few days, I’ve been trying to take time to pause and find something good to focus on several times during my day. Once I have my good thing, I sit with that thought for a few moments and let it sink into my brain. I acknowledge that I have found good and that I am blessed to have this item, person, thought, or experience in my life. By actively searching for good things throughout my day, I can feel a tension release in my soul. It feels like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. Is this life still tough? You bet it is. But this perspective shift has been so life-giving.

I would highly encourage you to try it out. Take a moment when you feel overwhelmed to find something around you that is good. Maybe it’s an item in your home that makes you smile. Maybe it’s a tree that is starting to bloom this spring. Maybe it’s the laughter of your kids in the next room. Maybe it’s the warm cup of coffee you are holding. Whatever it is, pause and enjoy it for a few moments. At least for a few minutes, the hard things of life will fade, and you can begin to find joy despite the difficulties around you.